The older I get the more I marvel at the synchronicities that occur in our lives. I now accept that there is very little in our lives that happens by chance. It seems to me that when I have chosen not to learn from a particular experience, it presents itself again in a different form.
I have mentioned before that I was abused by my mother and spent a great deal of my life avoiding situations that involved me interacting with particularly strident women. When I was forced to be in situations I could not avoid, I did not deal with them well and for many years I was continually placed in environments where I allowed myself to be bullied. When at last I did wake up to what was happening, I became determined to gain strategies for dealing with these occurrences. This was a defining moment in my life and I now revel in the knowledge that I am no longer affected by people who prey on the vulnerability of others because I am clear about who I am and also have a better understanding of what may be their drivers. This has allowed me to feel compassion for what lies behind this behaviour. My mother has been gone for many years but I now understand what caused her to be as she was and I am now grateful to her for bringing me into this world.
Recently I began working with a very special Indigenous woman whom I have admired from afar for years. Her vision for her people has always inspired me as I have watched her articulate interviews on television and in the press. I never dreamed that one day I would find myself in a coaching situation with her and it has been an amazing experience to find just how much we have in common. Recently she pointed out to me that four of us, who will possibly work together on some projects, have experienced being the one person in our families who suffered severe abuse from our mothers. Is it by chance that at this time we have been drawn together for some greater purpose as we also see ourselves not just as survivors but victors? We all recognise that our experiences allow us to be useful in assisting others. I really appreciate all of my life experiences and understand where they have helped me become stronger.
A few weeks ago I decided I needed to give my feet some much needed assistance and reluctantly decided to visit Athlete’s Foot. The minute I walked in I was approached by a beautiful young woman who took me under her wing and proceeded to provide me with excellent assistance on procuring the best shoes for walking. I mentioned that my poor feet were groaning under their 75 years of use. From that pronouncement followed a conversation and somehow it came out that I had written a book. These days I allow my intuition to guide me in conversations and for some reason my story fell out which gave her permission to tell her story. She was abused by a mentally ill mother until she was twelve and was then removed into foster care. There was a great deal of pain in her eyes as she related what had happened and then she looked up with shining eyes and thanked me for sharing with her as it was people like me that gave her courage and hope. She said that morning she had felt quite vulnerable but our conversation had changed her day and she vowed to be not just a survivor and is studying in order to help others. We embraced and I left the store with my new shoes, (pictured) feeling so buoyed by the experience.
Was it just chance that I had chosen to visit this store on that day?