A big thank you for those who took time to like my last post. It is not easy for me to expose myself. There are parts of me that wish I didn’t have to put myself out there. There was a time in my life when I did not know what ‘joy’ felt like. Of course I experienced happy moments but when I was asked to recapture a feeling of joy, I just couldn’t do it. Nowadays my life is so joyful and I would be quite happy to fill my days with the simple things of life … but I know that there is more to this last part of my journey than that. Never before have I experienced the strong daily promptings that remind me of the vast life experiences which have left me with a strong sense of purpose. My writing and speaking are an integral part of that and to be still relevant in the corporate space is such an unexpected joy.
As part of the writing course that I have undertaken, I have been given the task of building a platform. Gone are the days in the nineties when all I had to do was send my manuscripts to the publisher and apart from several layers of editing, they would do the rest and I could just enjoy the thrill of seeing my books on shelves, oh and receive the occasional royalty cheques. How things have changed. Now it seems the publisher wants to know what kind of a platform you have; how many Social Media contacts you engage with and how you are putting yourself out there. This is the aspect of writing that daunts me.
During this week I had one of those days that was imbued with self doubt. Was I really in line with my purpose? My days have been crowded with a project which has been particularly challenging. As often is the case on such occasions, I sent my question out there and several things happened. One occurred as I was waiting for my hair to be cut. The woman next to me struck up a conversation that was particularly pertinent. She had been struggling with severe post traumatic stress disorder following a gang rape she had experienced several years before. The hairdresser told her about my book and she was really interested. To cut a long story short, she felt that we were meant to meet on that day and thanked me for the conversation which she found helpful. She also purchased my book.
Less than an hour later I was at the shopping centre and as I passed a dress shop, I heard someone calling my name. I turned to see the beaming face of a woman who works there. She asked me to come in as she had just been speaking to a customer in the shop about my book. Once more an amazing conversation took place and another book was purchased. It cannot just be a coincidence that there have been a number of such encounters just as I felt that the book had run its course.
Whilst my brain has been buzzing with excitement about my next book, it has been challenging to find the time I need to write the proposal. I felt I had almost written it in my head and couldn’t wait to put my thoughts down in some kind of concrete form. Jean has inspired me to use my quantum powers to visualise this masterpiece I was about to create. Yes, I could see it, taste it, smell it…! So what happened as I sat, trembling with excitement, to at last get this really happening? Well absolutely nothing happened. I love writing and once I get going, I seem to get into a kind of flow but not this time. So again I was assailed by recriminations. Who did I think I was?
It was important to go back to the quantum teachings I am so enjoying and open myself up to another possibility. My despair dissipated and I have been given a clear change of direction which has allowed me to let the other go.
Sometimes the human experience threatens to sabotage the journey we are on but with all I have experienced, I could never doubt that we all have a purpose and sometimes we choose different pathways to get there. Whilst I find the whole human experience sometimes daunting; sometimes frustrating; sometimes even humiliating, I am so grateful for the force that enables me to pick myself up and start all over again. It is so darned exciting!!